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     ![]() - We've popped and we'll be moving on. and since tekong life is (for the moment) over, there's time to sit and think, reflect.
thinking back to the day before i enlisted while i was doing quiet time, God gave me a verse "...and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross , scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." romans 12: 1-2. At first, i took it light heartedly and thought 'eh, this is probably going to get me through some tough times' and memorised it half past six.
During my first 6km route march, which felt like 19320484535thousand kms, i almost knocked out and while walking the grueling route, i was reciting the verse to myself over and over even though i could only remember the first sentence. Then i reached a point where i could not endure any further and i told God, "God, this is it. In the next three steps im done." and when i took the third step, i was prepared to drop dead on the ground and probably pass out and look stupid. Then out of no where, there was a push to the field pack i was carrying and it was Quek from section4. He said while smiling to me "you okay? come on, we're here already." I looked up and realised I've actually already made it. It felt like shit, cause i almost gave up on God. on the other hand, i was thankful also cause i know when im down and really out, God is still there.
And there's field camp. where they say you show your true colours and all. i cant really agree to that because there are a group of people who tend to have a habit of... wayang-ing. anyways, we were doing a route march again and it was the worst than the 6km. Not because the distance was longer (8km)but because it was a route march to field camp or more specifically, HAWK coy's field camp. After the march we were told to build our bashas and so we did. my buddy and i were an awesome team, i did the tent he did the candy wrapping. Fahmi is the best buddy! (and i know im not) so when we're done with ours fahmi went on to help the front people and i went to the back. i was directing them to the alignment of the bashas and getting them to listen. Time was running out and i got a little bit too stressed up because before i knew it, i found myself on the ground hyperventilating. oh man, i tell you it was the most unbearable thing looking at the air around you and not being able to get enough of it. felt stupid and must've looked dumb. I was sent to the medic tent and after awhile matthias was brought in by fahmi. apparently, matt overheated and couldnt breathe too. Both of us sat there trying to breathe while i held an ice pack for matt. It really felt like shitttttt.Then Kaiwen came along, Kaiwen fell down the stairs a few weeks ago so he was temporarily out of training and officially medic's helper. he came over and helped with the ice and he offered to pray for me and matt. (matt kaiwen are both christians i found in my platoon and we've held some cell prayer gathering through bmt. cool right.) So kaiwen prayed, both me and matt we're still breathing hard and at that point of time we really were helpless and clinging on to God and each other tightly. me and matt just couldnt hold back our tears. I was really out of energy and out of mental strength and to be able to have someone pray for you at that point of time, it's really a huge ultimate enormous massive blessing. i also died during shellscrap digging and conventional battle course.
There was one day back in coy line, that one special day which was the slackest day of HAWK's entire history. we had almost nothing to do. So i went to make some sexy hot tea and did Quiet time! damn shieok. i read Isaiah 40, meditated and rested in the spirit. The most comforting was verse 11" He tends his flock like a sheperd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them closely to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." wa it was the best afternoon cause after reading i took a nap and i felt soooo refreshed spiritually mentally and physically.
BMT, on a whole was a whole lot of fun and shitty moments. i think every boy/guy/kid, should go through this although it may all seem meaningless. But at the end, the BMT experience is one you would take to your golden years.(unless you go through OCS, jungle confidence course and unless you get into J company.)
I thank God for being there, cause if he wasn't i probably wouldn't be typing now. and i thank God for all the people he placed in these 3 months and will place in the many zillion more months ahead.
 for moments like this; HAWK COY! |
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benhuang's journal
